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Issue 2 : When is it not Respect
Respectful relationships are based on trust, honesty, fairness, and feeling and being treated equal. In a respectful relationship you can be honest with yourself, your partner, family and friends. You would bring out the best in each other, trust each other's decisions, and know that your partner, family and friends accepts that the best person you can be is the person YOU ARE. Being in a respectful relationship is fun and makes you feel good about yourself.
A respectful relationship is:
- You don't have to do everything together; it is better that we have different relationships and opinions
- You compromise; share in the decision making makes it fair and equal.
- You can be honest with each other and still respect your each other's opinions and feelings.
- You trust one another, you can go out with your own friends is okay.
- You have your own support team, either at church or the parent group at school. Helping and working together towards your individual and shared goals.
- You accept that there are good times and bad times in a relationship. Tolerating and accepting each othe'rs differences.
- You are able to communicate your feelings and thoughts and be free to talk about how you feel.
A respectful relationship is not:
- When you constantly try to please to avoid conflict.
- When you are being disrespected and this is copied by your children or other people.
- When you are made to feel your opinions are not important as the other person.
- When you are blamed for the other persons behaviour especially when you are in a relationship with someone.
- When you are around someone who makes you feel unsafe.
- When your partner, family member or friend always wants to know who you are with and where have you been.
- When your partner, family member or friend is jealous and does not want you to talk to or spend time with someone else.
- When your partner, family member or friend limits or prevents you to have contact with your family and friends.
- When you are pressured to have sex or made to feel guilty if you don't.
- When your partner, family member or friend denies you the right to go to church or misuse religious traditions to justify his or her abusive behaviour.
- When your partner, family member or friend talks about private conversations you have had publicly.
- When your partner, family member or friend puts you down or humiliates you privately or publicly.
- When your partner controls the money and only gives you what he thinks you need or a family member constantly reminding you how to run your life.
...............this is not a respectful relationship:
If you think you are not in a respectful relationship here is what you should know:
- Always remember YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
- ABUSE is not physical it is only one form of abuse, psychological, financial, verbal, social, economic, sexual and spiritual abuse are all equally harmful.
"It has been proving that non-physical abuse can be just as devastating, if not more devastating than the long term effects of physical abuse".
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There is no excuse for any type of abuse.
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Verbal and psychological abuse may change to physical abuse over time.
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It takes courage to ask for help.
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